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Hello and welcome to ZERO CRED, the only music newsletter in the entire world.
Technically, no child of God is any “better” than another, but subscribing to this newsletter does put you above 99 percent of civilization. However, you may be wondering: How can I rise above that remaining one percent and ascend to elite status? The answer: With this official ZERO CRED membership card…
All ZERO CRED subscribers who upgrade to a paid membership will receive this personalized, laminated membership card.
This is the only way to prove that you are in fact NOT A POSER and lord your superiority over others. If you feel your cred has been publicly questioned, you can present it for immediate restitution.
So if you’ve been thinking about upgrading to a paid ZERO CRED membership, do it now. I will even knock 50% off the price of an annual membership. So that’s only like, uhhh… $27 bucks or something. For a year’s worth of music journalism!
“OK but what else does a paid membership get me?” Great question. In addition to the aforementioned membership card you’ll also get:
Access to the entire ZERO CRED archive with no paywalls
My weekly Sunday column, which is part rock book recommendations but mostly me flying off the handle about music gripes
Book giveaways (whenever I interview an author I often give away a copy of their book to a paid subscriber)
First crack at new and exclusive items that get added to my store
Discount codes for my store
Occasional postcards and zines
The knowledge that you are supporting independent journalism at a pivotal moment when corporations and tech monopolies are joining forces to dismantle publications and news outlets in order to usher in an era of algorithmically dictated misinformation that will benefit the rich and powerful and likely bring an end to democracy as we know it
Stickers
So upgrade to a paid subscription and get your membership card mailed to you ASAP. (Please note: The Card holds no monetary value. Only cred, which, in many ways, is more valuable than any financial currency.)
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Real life: PO Box 11352, Glendale, CA 91226
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